Over the years I’ve spoken to groups of people of all ages about writing and communicating. It’s interesting to note what they find important in their lives, according to their age.

With Valentine’s Day falling in February, I always like to ask people what they hold near and dear.

For instance, one year I asked a bunch of kindergartners to complete the sentence – “Love is…” Of course, they couldn’t write it, so they just told me.

The best responses were:

  • “Love is going to bed at night knowing my family loves me.”
  • “Love is my dog Fred, who’s my friend no matter what.”
  • “Love is having something good to eat.”

As you can see, kindergartners still appreciate what I call the fundamentals of life.

It’s interesting when they move into middle school and their teenage years that often changes.

The most consistent responses I got were:

  • “Love is having a good I-Phone.”
  • “Love is having friends that don’t tease you for having pimples.”
  • “Love is fitting in at school.”

So by the teenage years – the social acceptance years – the definition of love has changed.

Then we get into high school and early college. And now we start to see young adults.

  • “Love is getting good grades and getting into a good college.”
  • “Love is finding someone who appreciates you for who you really are.”
  • “Love is finding a good job, good pay and a good boss.”

Now there is a premium placed on sprouting your wings and finding someone to help you fly.

So from there we go to what I call the “middle years.” And the worm is slowly starting to turn again.

  • “Love is finding happiness in your job and at home.”
  • “Love is raising a family of responsible people.”
  • “Love is saving up a big enough nest egg to retire comfortably.”

Love has now come almost full circle, from social acceptance to sharing your life with someone special to setting yourself up for a good retirement.

And then comes the retired people – some of them in their early 60s (like myself) and some of them in their 80s.

When the older end of this age group talks, you tend to listen more intently because they have years of experience to draw from. When they tell you what “Love is…,” you tend to listen more closely.

The most common answers shouldn’t surprise us… but they do.

  • “Love is going to bed at night knowing my family loves me.”
  • “Love is my dog Fred, who’s my friend no matter what.”
  • “Love is having something good to eat.”

You see, it all ties back to those young kindergartners and the basics of what we really need.
The young kids just want the bare necessities. And after living through decades of finding spouses, working and trying to make a difference, the senior citizens realize that life still boils down to the basics.

Love can be very complex, of course, because we make it that way. But in listening to the perspective of the youngest and the oldest among us, you come to realize that love really is very simple.

Happy Valentine’s Day!